Once upon a time, childhood meant spending long summer days in tree houses or searching for frogs in a nearby stream. Children were allowed time to run and play, imagine and create, and to just “be kids.”

Today, 43 percent of 13- to 14-year-olds said they feel stressed every single day, according to a 2003 survey conducted by Liberty Mutual and Students Against Destructive Decisions/Drunk Driving. Among 15- to 17-year-olds, the percentage rose to 59 percent.

Aside from living in more turbulent times, and kids feeling more pressure to perform well in school, this stress is often coming from feeling over-pushed and overwhelmed by too many activities.

The “overscheduled child” may even initially want to join all the activities, but soon may be at risk of:

• Fatigue, headaches, stomach pains and other physical symptoms of stress
• Mental upset, including irritability, anxiety and depression
• Losing interest in the activities they once enjoyed
• Social withdraw
• Falling grades, as a result of being over-stressed

Moreover, kids who are constantly busy miss out on an important developmental factor: free time.

"A child who is constantly involved in all types of structured activities may not have the time to engage in important developmental activities such as self-reflection and self-evaluation," says clinical child psychologist Rob Heffer of Texas A&M University.

"The fact that our society values an adult who knows who he is, where he's come from and where he's going makes these developmental activities necessary … An overscheduled child may not be as socially-skilled as the next kid because less time exists for forming relationships through informal, unstructured leisure time," he says.

Why YOU (the Parent) May be Pushing Your Child Too Hard

As a parent, you want your child to succeed, and likely feel that exposing him or her to a wide variety of experiences is a key part of this. Indeed, nurturing your child’s interests and exposing them to different activities and experiences IS an important part of development.

However, if your child is “scheduled” from early morning until late at night, with little time in between to simply do nothing, you are likely pushing them too hard (and, ironically, may be causing them to resist the very thing you want them to do).

“When you push anyone, including a child, to do anything you create resistance – even if it started out as something they originally wanted to do,” says Hale Dwoskin, CEO and director of training of Sedona Training Associates. “It is better to invite and encourage from a feeling of caring or love than to push. The results will be much more productive.”

Meanwhile, your child is missing out on creative time to think, explore, problem-solve and even sit and talk with their grandparents (which is surely highly more important than any dance class or summer camp).

What may be driving you to push your child too hard are your own emotional issues, such as wanting your child to succeed where you did not, or wanting your child to have a better life than you did. The emotions underlying your subconscious or conscious overscheduling of your child could be endless (fear of not being a good parent, grief over something you missed out on as a child, anxiety about becoming the “best,” etc.) – but there is one solution that can help.

Release and let go of the emotional factors driving you to overschedule your child. The Sedona Method, a scientifically proven tool to help you achieve emotional well-being, will uncover your natural ability to let go of any unwanted feeling in the moment, including the desire to push your child beyond the healthy limit.

The result will be a freedom to enjoy parenting your child without pushing him or her to do too much, and having the confidence to know that your child will be successful no matter what.

Sources

Texas A&M University

LHJ.com